The Silence of My Voice

Motuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Boss, you're all grown up now. FINALLY!  HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPIEST Birthday, my GeeEef (Gadget freak =P) OKAY! Enough of being mean. Dude, tu ultimate hai! Like really! You're my that 4 am friend I've found after AGES.  1) He's obsessed with his camera. But that goes without saying wat an excellent photographer he is. 2) Oh damn right, he's one cuddly creature. Panda, he is. :* 3) Apart from being one of the biggest nautanki around, he's a sport! 4) Meeting him, will brighten ANYBODY'S day, for the sweetheart that he is! All I'm saying is that you're loved, Motu. You're an incredibly amazing fellow with a heart of gold. Stay like that. FOREVER.  Love,  Your well-wis...err,.. Your favourite irritator. =D

No. No, it doesn't matter in the ultimatum where you end up. I can get pretty difficult at times. There'll be moments when the thin blade of killing me with your bare hands solely, would fragment the nerves of your coils. But just wait. Please, wait is all I ask for. I know I haven't proved to be the best person around you. I'll annoy you, test your patience, bring you to the brink of murderous behaviour, or even might shaken your trust in our bond. But listen. LISTEN. You've been there with me when I was happy. And I promised to be there in your angst. And I'll be there even if the angst is because of me. If I end up being the reason of your anguish. Please bear with me, because I don't want to be unable to be there with you. It just wasn't about the happiness deal, was it? I told you I won't let your problems remain yours.I'd be your shield for your problems hit me . Hard, in the face. Only to remind me, come what may, y...

You can read the previous parts  here . Just scroll down the page for parts I-IV. =) "Has anyone ever told you that you have eyes too big for your face?" "N...o...n..n..no." "I like the way you mumble." He gathered all of her in once, and in her haste or nervousness - definitely haste, she thought  - she spilled the wine from her glass. The sore of the pink blemished her gown and his pants.  "Dois!", he exclaimed with surprise. "I'm really sorry. I just-" "Querida, you're all wet! I'll arrange for some clothes for you." "Uh, n..o..no. No, it's okay."  His phone rang. He spoke rapidly in his language. So fast, that she couldn't make out what he was saying. Thrashing someone, that she could make out. He dropped a curse. That  she made out. "Is everything alright?", her sweet, sultry voice made him want to rush her to his room and make love to her all night. Dios , he was sur...

I wake up every morning at six. Actually it's more like staying up through the night till the point when it's my real time to wake up. I'm slogging myself, and yet the work doesn't come to an end. How will it, when I have only 24 hours for 30 hours worth of work?! I drag myself past each day, in the hope that something nice'll happen. Something/one will bring a smile to me. A genuine smile. One that I've actually forgotten what feels like to be done in response.  And then I look around. And I see people. Real people, fake people, helpful people, sadu people, leechad people, kind people, happy people, whining people. I try looking within. And I find myself. Should be enough, isn't it? YOU should be enough for yourself. [Read: Satya. I love you, Tambi :*]  I bend down and shake my head, look up smiling, and get back to my work.  Life is okay! 

No, it's happening. I tried refraining. But I guess I was held back till only trying. No attempt whatsoever helped. And I don't think it will. Maybe ten years down the line when I'm sitting up late at night, working and watching some stupid architect I would have married sleeping, maybe then I'll think of you. And still wonder what would my life have been if it had you, like I still do. Maybe I will, for the rest of my life. I'm standing at crossroads where you're nowhere to be seen. And might I say, I don't like that fact. But I'll do with myself, for now. Just know. You're loved. Maybe always will. You're the best I could have got, perhaps. And perhaps I'm not worth you. I'm nothing special, I'm sure of that. ON a dark night, set out walking on the road which is purely illuminated by the moon; THAT is how beautiful my life feels when you're in it. If at all ever, you don't feel lonely even when you'll have no one by you...

I want to screech. Shout out loud so that somebody notices the anguish, if not the screams at all? That pungent feeling when you wish to abscond and run. But then after running a mile away from everything around you, you realize you're just about running the same place. Because there's no where else to go. Every turn you take, draws you to similar facets with different knowledge of screwing you over and over. You think, wait and wish for the same light you found once before. The same light which lit you when yours ran out. I do see a light. Yes. It's not standing with others surrounding me. It came from above somewhere. I try going close, it keeps running away. Maybe it's scared that if once again he illuminates me, he'll never find his own again. But I assure him that's not what I want. I'm happy enough to see him lit, to see him having found his light again. He argues; he says he's here to share the light. There's a problem. We can't share. He...

I've paid Karma enough, so not anymore. I'd begin to start believing in love again because of you. I'm not implementing that you weren't different. You are. You every bit are. If I had a nickel for every guy as amazing as you, I'd only have five cents. You don't have to believe me if you don't want to. Nobody does, so it's not a requite for you either. The problem is that there are too many memories. And each memory evokes another memory of you. And you love soon, and you leave sooner. It was ironic how I judged you and ended up liking you anyway. And it took a little. Only a little. Remember how you said that we were customized for each other? Yeah, that. I don't believe that we were. You just turned out to be somebody who tried relating each countenance of me to some relative facet of yours. And boy, were you awesome at doing it! I told you your voice played havoc to my mind. It really did. That soft lush ring. That was half the reason I did everyt...

Hola! =) It wasn't much long ago when one of my DEAREST chaddi-buddy called me after, what I may perfectly define, ages! I love that guy with all my heart. That one main reason I do is because he's apparently the ONLY guy in my life who does not treat me like a girl. Everything's always clear, like man-to-man. And he jinxed it yesterday. Yes, he did. And I felt like going to his place, and breaking his mom's favourite multiple vases on his head. That man, that bloody man whom I USED to [yes, bitch, I hate you now. Know that if you're reading this!] adore so much, was asking ME out of EVERYONE, how to tackle his girl's growing possessive obsession with him (Yes, you read it right!). And I was there, staring at my laptop screen in utter bafflement, thinking what the hell is wrong with this guy! BUT, being the "nice" person that I'm [alright, don't laugh!], I still went ahead and asked him what the matter was instead of disconnecting [you shoul...

Okayyyyyyyyyyy! So wasn't really expecting this one, but boom! Yeah it pretty much hit me like that! I won the "Versatile Blogger Award", and have been tagged also!  And a lot lot lot lot lot of love to  Ajay ! Thanks man. You're a true booster! =D a) Done! b) Seven random facts about myself I hate Shahrukh Khan. Like hate hate hate hate him. I feel like a bonded labour since college started. I got inked again! Awesome much? =D I had my fresher's last night, and I was SO tired that I don't remember half the things. I FINALLY have a DSLR. 550D, bitches!  I'm apparently more lonely right now than I've ever been. Ummmm, I don't know! Can't think of anything else! :/ Answers.  To be happy, and not lonely for once. My parents. Last thing would be to go to Marine Drive and feel the winds. Working. Working, working, and working. (What else do you expect from architects?) Myself, actually. Had I been a different...

We enjoy each others company but for the most part, we avoid it. We pretend there is nothing there. We're just friends. Every time we meet, it's awkward at first. We check our guard and put up the walls. We're just friends that's all. We call each other on the phone, and always have a good excuse for doing so. Do friends need an excuse? You remind me that "We must be careful", "We can't go there", you say. The rules have been set, and we live by them. We sit and talk for hours, two sets of blue eyes interlocked and neither turns away. I hang on your every word. Your simple presence in a room, gives my life a purpose. Add your voice and a smile, and I melt away. The thought of you touching me makes my body scream out with yearning. But we're just friends, right? Why do I feel it's more? Are we in self-inflicted denial? Our past hurts have made us so afraid, We'd rather be l...

Those few things that make your morning That random kiss from your lover That lover waiting at your bedside with tea That lover's innocent sweet nothings That sweet nothings that compel you to abscond That feeling to abscond the world with him  That world in which you'll be stepping out with him That stepping out that separates you two in daylight That daylight which makes his eyes glow a green That gleaming green that  make you want to rush back That wild idea of rushing back that makes you both laugh  That laughing at the end of which you both kiss a goodbye That goodbye that makes you yearn all day long That familiar traffic police who's a hello-friend now That parking guy who's cakes you love That absent receptionist's smile you miss That little cubicle you decorated so heartedly That picture of his you clicked on the first vacation That first vacation where he made you the shell necklace That shell necklace you play wi...