The Silence of My Voice

Remains of the being, Haunting each attempt to relive, Battered wits, no trails left behind, Walking this long now,  The effort seems wasted,  You seem wasted. Beaten, The superficiality of it all, Excelling, taunting,  Robbing you off you, Bartering away,  The very soul that was touched. The stolen glances, All a cliché to her numb mind, The imperfections, evident, It shone, he shone,  Like gold against sand, Looking of dew, and,  Smelling of light. She needed the bartered soul, For it to be touched again, Long had she forgotten, Her deal with the devil,  Yes, she wept,  For there was nothing, That could be warmed in her. Holding her by the shoulders,  He grasped the play of her vision, He parted a part, Of his being with her, Walking on, as life gave way, Assured, She had a part of him. See you around, fellas. Happy, for once, Ak.

Hola! Awesomeness be bestowed. Bleh. I've been making no sense in life, not that I'm superlatively vella.  Ajay  and  Diwita , both awarded me with Liebster Award. Yay! And I'm sorry for posting about it late, because well, you know, college is over, so I didn't assume a reason to check my mails. Ha! Selfish ass, you. Anyhoo!  Diwita's Ajay's                            Such lovelies! :* Ajay's. 1. Thank the bloggers and link back. Done. 2. Okay, so since he didn't ask questions, I'm going to act lazy and act like there isn't anything to do. But no, really. You're one of my most loyal followers, and you've really help me better. Thank you. Diwita's. 1. Thanked the blogger. 2. Diwita's questions.  1. Because it seemed to be the right place to vent my feelings, whatsoever they maybe. 2. Batman and Ironman. 3. I tripped over on a staircase in front of ...

You can read the previous parts  here . Just scroll down for parts I-VI. "April, we're still married, if that's what you need me to spell it out to you. And right now, we're to leave for my home. For the weekend, my father has organised a celebration in honour of my sister's marriage. It's about time you met my family." She felt as if she would faint, "What?" "It's been too long since you've been away from me, cero.  Time has come to make the world meet my wife." * For the following morning Duardo instructed his bodyguard for their departure. Seeing colour drain from April's face, he kicked himself in the gut thinking this was the second time he was pushing her over an entire cliff of trouble. What was it about her that elevated her to an altogether different level, a level no women had reached up to he'd met all his life. She still sat there, at the corner of the bed, sinking, and she looked lik...

With the wind blowing through the feeble quip in the glass, she continued to flip through the primal sides of her grandmother's   diary. Every time she crossed it, it's whiff sent her about for a toss. Although manners had taught her to impart people their share of privacy considering she was a private person herself, she couldn't refrain from opening it. There was always a stillness that surrounded her each time she fondled it. Leathery, tattered, tanned, it's yellowed pages compelled her to consume each word into her soul like they meant something to her. Slowly unleashing each page of the diary, like unlocking a chest full of jewels filled Maya with excitement. Encountering each day of her grandmother's, she laughed because for Maya her grandmother was an enigma, who had all the time for adventures in her life. Until one page caught her attention. Emptying the contents of the page into her mind, Maya tried emptying them into her little sphere of belief too, but...

I don't know I'm bugged. Tomorrow will be the third exam in a row without any preparatory leave. I'm in no mood of studying. And most definitely not Surveying and Levelling. After an entire year of just working and not studying, I've perpetually forgotten how to study and write papers. I just want the next weekend to come running towards me so that I can be a free bird for once, and do whatever the hell I like. For TWO WHOLE FREAKING MONTHS. I'll sleep, eat, click, write, smoke, drink, repeat.  Until then, I'll study, blog, talk, eat, study, laze, repeat.  Later. Craving Big Chill,  Ak.

Over-powering, superiority, loud outlook - it's all a part of hidden insecurities. I've seldom prided myself on being secure, per se. I'd be lying if I said I never feel insecure. But I sure pride myself on not hiding them by superiority complexes, for once. I'm not weak, contrary to what a lot of people believe. I've been made to feel all the time that I fuck relationships up. People even forget that I've been kindling relationships for as long as 15 years now. Disheartening, that not everyone can know everything about you. Not that I'm assuming for it to happen, I surely treasure my privacy. Only that perhaps people would stop judging for once.  Human Settlements exam tomorrow.  Still lots to go.  Sleepy, and bored, Ak. 

You know the time you feel you're your only person, and your head can't be repeated and you're the only zombie that there is? I'm not a simple and easy person to deal with. People find awesomeness by some God's wish to be enticing. And what this awesomeness is supposed to be imitating I don't know. Probably magnetic. But one thing I've learnt is that the more people crib, and complicate themselves, the more people are drawn towards them.And trust me, I've seen some brilliant examples of it - live. I don't consider a lot among our race to be living with the same mindset as me. And even lesser than that who actually understand it. For someone like me who's amazingly friends with a lot of people, I'm astonishingly lonely and aloof and highly insecure. And this has N number of times affected my judgements, and clouded my vision. But somebody, with a mind equally weird, with an attitude equally cynic, and a heart equally turbulent, made me realize...

No matter how expensive make-up you might use, and however expensive a camera might click your face, it's not going to change the fact that beneath all that cake is a woman who could never be anybody's, who could never become what he wanted her to, what people wanted her to. Stop pitying yourself. You're not the only one falling sick and staying up to work your designs. Go gulp a fucking medicine, eat, and get back to work. Smoke's only going to kill you, not give you peace. Hard truth much?  For the complete insecure bitch that you're inside, nobody's going to love you from the outside. Nobody hangs around for a damaged good, or even wait for it to be fixed. Learn to be your own person.  YOU are selfish. Pathetically selfish. All you want is love from people without giving it a thought what you're giving in return to them. You only screw relationships, let alone somebody else.  People change. Face it. You haven't been the same either. Stop bo...

What one needs to comprehend is that not everyone is hard-hearted. Yeah, I know, one of the look-who's-talking moments. College has made me cross an entire diversity of people. Like biological diversities, Fungi, Protesta, Bacteria etc? Yeah, that. Okay too sleep-deprived so I'm allowed to talk crap. Don't pay attention to my crap.  Where was I? Yeah. So apparently not everyone is what they seem. Everyone? Ha! Who am I kidding?  NOBODY is what they seem. Everyone here is a stud, number 1.  People have HUGE egos. With of course, huge attitude issues. Some are SO sweet, and equally SO fake, and equally SO piling, that I want to hit right in their faces. People are more afraid than a pre-school child. Some have immense love around, so much that it hurts. And some they barely smile. The ones who seem most extrovert and loud and sociable, are the most insecure.  All I'm trying to say is that I discovered, I might not be that much of a World-Hater as I thought I was. ...

I've been realising that I'm lately using the word anticipation a lot in life. Maybe because anticipation and surprises, both in a good and a bad way, are what happening in my life. For someone like me who's obnoxiously egoistic, and unjust, and judgemental 24*7, I have been surprised and disappointed by people too often till the extent of extremities.  But you know what they say, "Good things always come in threes." And so do, Pritish, Shekhar and Sharnay.  Know that bro-shit? Yeah, that.  To be honest, my first impression of these three wasn't so good. I mean, like really. I ACTUALLY thought the three to be gays together (Please don't kill me, you three.). =P But as it goes, "Buddies who roll together, stay together." Yeah, you know exactly what I mean.  Pritish, the over-protective kid, the dirty jokes partner. Superlatively concerned about everything. Shekhar, the kid in itself. The sweetest out of all. The jolly one in each gro...

Things we do not expect happen more often than we wish. Anticipation of something that's never going to happen in your hopeful possibilities is the worst form of human torture. Ask a dying man his last wish. Seldom would you find one asking for nothing. Sounds hilarious, doesn't it? Someone dying with all their wishes fulfilled. And that's where the crux of it all lies. The entire gist of it comes down to letting go. We, humans, take immense pride in embracing what mutilates us. We're nurtured with the notion to endeavour whatever it is that we want till our last breath, and if we don't achieve it, die trying. I'm sure the grass is always greener on the other side, and when I reach there, I can see the weeds up close. Until then, I'll try watering my own premature grass. You'll be told to attempt harder, but none will appreciate if you find your own America. We are used to seeing results, but the effort is what we ignore. We brand those strong who try to...

Clamping on firmly to the reminisces suffocate them. Take it easy, take it slow. At times, even the most unencumbered flashes taunt the very essence of what was being. The reverting silence hurts. It wounds you. Surprising, and mocking you as well. Telling you weren't enough. The essentiality of it wasn't enough. Wait! Don't stop. Think, feel, think again. It wasn't worthless. Worthless defines a whole lot of life's otherwise created nuisances. Anything, but that. Shut your eyes. I know you still seek her. The mystery that she is, has kept you on your toes. Her irrelevance to whatever she did and said, drew you to her. Her way of talking in circles, and still establishing perfect sense for you withdrew your frowns. Wait, stop, look. She stood there. Aloof, amongst the crowd. As you were. But something about her made her mingle with the aliens enveloping her. She was all that was for you to foresee. And just as she brushed past you, her woody, fruity hint sent you on...

Too much creativity surrounding my life, eh? So, thanks to Ajay, who's created this award called Creative Blogger.  So following are the rules. 1) Okay, so since  Ajay  has been too kind to award me, I'm going to go ahead being modest and confess that I totally deserved it. LOL. Kidding. I really thank him for this. It's a major boost. Although I agree that I have been seriously not doing much to this blog, I promise to be back with a bang! =D 2) a. Three things about myself, I'm throw things when I lose my head. I never remember things I do when I feel sleepy. It's almost like I'm sloshed. I'm going to bed nowadays with my socks on.     b. Two things people don't know about me, I love Red Velvet Cake. I've started paying visits to salons.      c. I would want to change my hair. I cut them REALLY short          last summer, and it's about time I grow them back.    3) Okay, so...

All right! Befor anything else, I WILL post abou the amazing award Ajay rewarded me with!  Conference shizz going on in college. Three days of kickass shit. Yeah, I know, I promised to refrain from using any colloquial adjectives containing ass, but what the hell! Too many cool people in the surroundings.  College in an integral phase. You live it to grow, and know yourself. Knowing all categories of people, which is missing from school life, tells you a lot about yourself. Well more in the way of helping you realize them. I hate: Hypocrites. Passionately! I feel like beating the living pulp out of them each time they open their mouth.  Boy-crazy girls. I guess whoever it is, they're already aware, so I'm waiting to see the time when they drop dead themselves.  Irresponsibility. Beats the bloody shit out of my mind's calmness.  Confrontations. Worst. Thing. Ever.  People way too madly in love. Mean of me, I know. It just is. I'm sorry. Frustra...