BlogMas 2019 Day Seven - To My Younger Self

Dear A,

I'm confused as to how to address you anymore. 

Have you cached up on more names now? What's the latest sobriquet?

More so, are you able to identify now with any of them?

And, don't try to distort the truth to yourself,

Ask for help, you're going to be in need of it.

And, don't go at it alone, 

It will be crushingly vexing,

And, don't say no incessantly,

It'll make you sound uninspiring,

Nobody is going to know you whole immediately,

So don't be worried if they judge you,

You're about to rattle them.

And, labouring isn't always going to affirm fulfilment,

So let some ambiguity exist.

And, you're irreplaceable, as is everyone,

So don't care so much.

And, you'll make friends,

So keep empowering them,

They will liberate you....one day.

Don't fight shy of feeling,

You're going to be jolted for a six.

And, you will be marooned, you will be heartbroken,

So don't cloche it, and invest all that's left in working,

It'll erupt in ways you won't have the tools to deal with later.

And, for the first time, you will know loneliness,

It'll seem unending, but you'll be the wiser for it.

And, be unreserved in your affections,

And, feelings will always be transient,

So keep the memories, they're going to be stimulating, and kaleidoscopic.

And, people will depart all the time,

So be creative about what you do with that space.

And, give people time,

Because if there were no goodbyes exchanged, they will be back.

And, it's not possible to love everyone,

But it is possible to keep an open heart,

Because you'll learn what a beautiful thing acceptance is.

And, there'll be always be more people,

But keep the ones you know you'll miss, closer.

And, things will keep coming your way,

Things that aren't in your control,

So keep an umbrella handy to keep the hail at bay, while you mop away the mess.

And, don't tie yourself into knots over anything,

Urgencies are always someone else's state of mind,

So don't make them yours.

And, there will be both big and small days,

So keep a track of the smaller ones,

Because people will always audit the bigger ones for you.

And, there'll be days when you forget to behave like a human being,

So don't feel guilty of loving yourself, even then.

And, you will lose the will be alive,

So keep on existing until you find it again,

Because trust me, you'd have never been stronger.

And, crying yourself to sleep is no evidence of ineptitude or timidity,

It's an indication of wanting to be yourself again,

So rid yourself of whatever overwhelms you, in whatever way it feels right.

And, there will be days when you won't want to move from your couch,

That's okay, too - everyone needs resetting.

And, you'll grow more silent, and people will question it,

It's okay, you're learning to choose your words,

So when you do speak, you will be sure of what you know,

So don't ever doubt yourself.

And, wait,

Stability will come to you - just not in the way you expected.

And, keep daring yourself,

So you'll finally rid your mind of a lot of fears that were never yours to hold.

And, there will be days when you're not your consistent version,

So catalogue them well - you'll never be that person again.

And, it's okay if you're unable to figure out love,

The amount of possibilities that still await you, to figure it out,

Will be beautiful segments of your life.

And, don't be reserved with kissing,

People need more honest kisses.

And, there will be moments when you're fragile,

So let people treat you like glass.

And, don't struggle with your body,

Listen to it, it'll be with you forever.

And, take pictures of everyone,

You don't know when you'll meet them again.

And, don't measure adventures by the societal norms,

Create your own widgets.

And, if you ever feel you have to prove yourself,

To anyone other than yourself? Walk out.

And, my darling girl,

Be slower, take your time,

Don't measure your growth with someone else's apparatus.

And everyone around is struggling,

So don't forget to make it a party.

You were born free, and that freedom is yours,

So use it, never for anyone else. 

And, my darling girl,

Don't forget to laugh,

And, don't ever feel guilty of it on days you feel you don't deserve it,

Because you'll unknowingly will be giving someone else the chance to celebrate your misery.

Don't forget to make mistakes,

Embarrassment and failure are better teachers than people.

And, my darling girl,

Don't forget the person you were before someone hurt you,

Use that memory to fuel you.

I hope no one tries to box you up.

I hope you never give up writing.

I hope you're constantly looking for something in life, as you read this.

And, my darling girl,

Don't worry too much about getting attached to places,

You're only human.

And, don't worry,

Home won't mean the same things soon,

But it will be ponderous.

And, my darling girl,

Everyone needs help,

So offer unguardedly.

What would you tell your younger self?

More tomorrow. Until then.

Artist: Rob Diaz

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,

A.