I broke down yesterday at the end of the day. Bad, really bad. Hasn't happened in almost a decade. The way to extract all your frustration out, which has simply been piling up due to your own ignorance. Ignorance that keeps you protected from the world. Ignorance that doesn't permit you to evade your vulnerability to the world. The same damn ignorance that taunts your cynicism each day, telling you that you're breaking apart inside. Irresponsibility, negligence, unpunctuality, lies, choices, options, time, aloofness - everything is getting to the best and worst of me. It's leaving me irritated, and agitated, exasperated, ostentatiously angry and weepy. There could have only been two things - either I could have beaten everyone who came in front of me into a pulp, or wept - which I certainly did. Plus my foot refuses to be healed, over which days of constantly bending over your table has given me perennial body ache that just doesn't seem to go away. Case study submission tomorrow. Lots to do. Still. But I will be back. Happier. When I'll once again realise that I'm enough for myself and don't need nobody. And then I'll be laughing again, writing again, confessing again.
Waiting to sleep,