The Silence of My Voice

 We all live our life with numerous fissures within us; some we've been existing with all this while, and some, made from our own misdemeanours. I feel, as humans, whatever we're foraging for is unto us to ensure it fills us in. Often, we commit a grave gaffe celebrating the encounter of only one of a million elements that we chase, and use it to try, and plug all our crevices. A lot of us are running on empty, most times. To shoulder the albatross, and to also drain something from the same tribulation, of providing all the puzzle pieces, is how we make ourselves, and others juice out. I find it quite flakey when people mention they have a certain set of hobbies, or none at all. I feel people adopting hobbies is their way to relentlessly keep giving themselves a chance to be out there just enough, to be able to get a glimpse of what they're seeking. It's a bleak chance, but one, anyway. Then there's the lot of us too fearful to do anything about it. We often throw o...

I found my time with myself over the years extremely edifying. Half-pint trips to cafes, the movies, the book shops, or even the local nursery lady for a cup of tea. Allowing yourself the time to cognize all that only merely floated through your mind amidst your dreadful industriousness tends make you feel freer, I feel. Of course, some esprit de corps is delightful, but once I started taking myself all over the city, I realised I wasn't appreciating my own presence enough. It's an unnoticeably tiny part of it, but it makes you comprehend the need for a lot of us to travel to places alone, because it's not the newness of an alien city you're trying to discover. Contemplation, and perusal of self is key. I've iterated this in one of the Blogmases - everyone should live alone once. As social animals, there's nothing more discomforting, and challenging than to accept your own company. I reckon, maybe that's why humans came up with the concept of gallivanting, i...

 A lot of the times it's easy to come off as erratic for your choices of bents. I didn't fathom a lot of things my parents did, when I was younger. I could, but I didn't. "Hold the bottle tightly." "Not near the glass!" "Who's going to pay for this?" It was easier as kids to infer it was always about the money, until you start yielding some of your own. Which then, you employ to start piecing yourself a beautiful life, and that's when you cotton onto all the times you thought they were being mean. I've only latterly corralled the parallels between me, and my parents in the way I take care of my house, car, belongings. It's one thing to look after something well, because you wanted that item; because it's selfish, it's a materialistic response to your materialistic desires. It's a whole different thing when it's a part of your own world you've cemented together. I grew up in Delhi. For those of you who don...

Hello. There are memories that will easily collapse in the palm of your hands occur sporadically. And, how beautifully brittle are these things? And, how easily these things make you hopeful for more of these evocations? And, isn't that the purpose they serve? To create genres of hopes to have us eternally believe in magic happening? There's a memory for me, of contentment and, of woe. I've never felt placidity that rivalled the one I felt each time I was home, all by myself. Prior to that, I'd never fathomed just how enervating a mechanism it is to make a house feel like home. It is, truly, just another feeling. There's no modus operandi that to take place. As evolved beings, we always compensate for lack of normality with objects. Not until I emptied that apartment, did it dawn on me that I hadn't found the need to add in a lot of compensations in it. It simply grew on me, and turned into a home. I can unambiguously point the definite moment when that ha...

Hello. I'm quite tightfisted with my will to verbalize how I really feel about someone. To a degree, I'm covetous about all things intangible. I've barely met a handful of people who understand this about me without the utterance of that first word. I've often wondered if this would ever be an issue for my accession as a person, and as a part of any relationship. I've been fearful of becoming immune to feeling at all because of my lack of exposition on the matter. I have been aggravated, and cross with people. However brawny these emotions are, they're conjectural, and have minutely anything to do with the person concerned itself. This has more to do with susceptibility.  Someone asked me a long time ago if I'd ever been in love. The only sally I could offer, was that I don't really know what it means for me. At that time, it was partly true, and partly a fib. The latter wouldn't be something I would fathom until much, much later, to be grossly...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Twenty Four! It was my birthday today, like I said in the last post. But I'm not going to talk about that.  BlogMas is over, guys. Twenty four days of writing and it's been amazing for me. Through juries, and exams and sleepless nights - even though I did post a couple posts a day late, but I did share my days with you nonetheless. A very, very Merry Christmas. Have lots of Plum Cake with tutti-frutti, and watch some sloppy movies, and sing carols at the top of your voice. Most importantly, tell people you love, that you love them. No matter how. Be someone's secret Santa, and have yourself a merry little Christmas. Until then. Also, in case you don't follow me everywhere, you can find me at following places: Instagram             Twitter Snapchat: akankshash http://www.robbieporter.co.uk/ Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Ak.

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Twenty Three! And it's my birthdayyyyyyyy at 12 midnight! It's been an awesome awesome night! My day was very normal. But my school friends kidnapped me at night. And then more school friends. And, some more. And a goodly amount of laughing. Lot of it, actually. Suffice it to say it's been grand. Until then. Also, in case you don't follow me everywhere, you can find me at following places: Instagram             Twitter Snapchat: akankshash http://www.gemmacorrell.com/ Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Ak.

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Twenty Two! Boring, boring boring day. Just literally lied around all day doing nothing. On the flip side, I reckon, I needed that. I also updated myself with all the news going about since I was unable to do so in the past couple weeks, since I had dived my nose into laptop and books. So the juvenile convicted in the Nirbhaya case was released without having his identity made known. What a decision, System, what a decision! The guy who was violent enough to shove a rod inside a woman and pull out her insides with his hands was just a curious puberty-stricken teenager, looking for a quick nookie, and definitely should be given a chance to make a life for himself.  Now the respected society of this country has nothing to say about anybody being intolerant, or any action that has been taken to be intolerant for the victim's parents. Because the bloody juvenile law of this country says so. All the convicts confessed of the juvenile to...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Twenty One! MY EXAMS ARE O-V-E-R! Done, and dusted. I can't admit to how much of a relief that is. But, it also distresses me a bit, as well. Because, next semester will be my last one in college, and enter real world. But that is still secondary of my concerns at the moment. What's really making me anxious and panicky is thesis. I am absolutely gutted, as to what I'm going to do. And I mean that not in a clueless manner. I know what I wish to do, but I'm skeptical if I'll be able to see it through as a vision. Because it doesn't always pay to work hard - sometimes it is crucial to be different, and still keep your head on about realistic appeals of it, and be practical. But. On the flip side. I have a Secret Santa. Who gave me these beautiful handmade notebooks with the loveliest of paper inside. It made my day. Really. And it's just four days to Christmas, guys. Oh! I also experimented with two new recipes to...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Twenty! I made some Chocolate Banana & Peanut Cupcakes. Oh yeah! They were unbelievably soft, and mind you, I made them sans baking powder. They were utterly butterly delicious. I think that used to the Amul butter advertisement when I was a kid. Also, it didn't need a convention. Just your microwave. Am I not awesome? I am going to taste a lot of freedom tomorrow. No joke. My exams end tomorrow. Guess, who's birthday coming up? Apart from Jesus, I mean. http://www.paulrayment.me/ Until then. Also, in case you don't follow me everywhere, you can find me at following places: Instagram             Twitter Snapchat: akankshash Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Ak.

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Nineteen! I, yet again, spent my day contemplating all the possible templates and layouts for the Wordpress blog. The moment I'm done editing and finalising one, I find another better, more suitable one. This is literally starting to get on my nerves. Rest assured, I'll have it out before Christmas. Also, I tried on a new recipe for pasta. I don't know what to call it yet. But, if you want, I'll surely post up the recipe for you. Until then I have to get back to structures because I am fah-ree-king out. It's not the best of my fortes. I'll have to leave here for today, but do enjoy my Christmas playlist! Here's the  link , in case the videos don't take you to YouTube. Until then. Also, in case you don't follow me everywhere, you can find me at following places: Instagram             Twitter Snapchat: akankshash http://www.mutanthands.com/ Have Yourself a Merry Little Christm...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Eighteen! It's just a week until Christmas! I'm so excited! Can you see the red, Santa snow on my blog? Can you?! Awesome, ain't it? Here's my shenanigans from past couple'a weeks.   Until then. Also, in case you don't follow me everywhere, you can find me at following places: Instagram             Twitter Snapchat: akankshash http://tommathieson.tumblr.com/ Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Ak.

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Seventeen! My day literally went by trying to push myself to study town planning. It's that lax phase you have in school when you're given too many preparatory leaves for the lesser evil of a subject. But I did consume that first breath of fresh air, for the juries are now over. There is still literally, so much, I'm left to do with, and that'd be mainly because I haven't started yet. The biggest hurdle in editing the WordPress blog, for good, is twice it has happened, that I'm almost through with setting the entire layout of my blog and putting in information......and I find myself gazing at a better recommended template. What are the blooming odds? Twice! And that's not even literally odd. And as for delaying everything else that I need to do with my house, well... Honestly, everything has been such a whirlwind that I've lost track of even remembering to drink water. A couple of days ago, I woke up e...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Sixteen! Less than ten days to Christmas! Shake it, girl, shake it! Alright! Juries done, two papers to go, and exaggerated freedom! Also some time for some DIY. I have a lot of ideas and things stored up to do, including some decoration yet to do for my room. Now, is it a shame or what! Anyhow. I had another quite chill day yesterday. Also, I'd really like some suggestions for places I can buy baubles, because the proper ones can be found only in high-end home and living showrooms, and honestly, I'm sure there are places where they are on a scheme so I'm not precisely willing to pay three or four grands on just ten glass baubles. I don't have much to talk of today. But I'll be back, tomorrow. For sure!  Until then. Also, in case you don't follow me everywhere, you can find me at following places: Instagram             Twitter Snapchat: akankshash http://www.rossphillips.net/ Have ...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Fifteen! I finally got a lot of sleep, and the poor thing that my life is, the day I could sleep out to my heart's content, I woke up at half past thirty in the morning like a damn guard dog, staring at my ceiling doing absolutely nothing. But I did make me some frittata, cause I love me some frittata. Basically today was just a chill day, and I did browse through a lot more lists of books that I can read. 2015 lists, mostly. I'm really onto classics right now, mostly in the tune to relive some of my childhood's best moments when I'd first read Charles Dickens, and Enid Blyton, and Lewis Carroll, and Thomas Hardy, and Emily Brontë, and Mark Twain, and Roald Dahl. My best memories have been with Enid Blyton and Charles Dickens. I can't even count how many times I've literally gotten into trouble for staying up with a torch under my blanket. I also read a lot of Tinkle. Suffice it to say, Suppandi and Shikari Shambu...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Thirteen! As I said yesterday, today, it's eleven days to Christmas. My jury went absolutely well. And I am delighted. I'm breathing so easy, it's absolutely not funny. Every semester, each time I'm done through a design jury, I feel like I've climbed up a flight of really steep steps. But it was worth putting in everything I put into it, and have it appreciated.  I haven't the slightest clue how I drove and reached home. I don't even remember what route I took. I literally slept off at one of the signals because it was blooming 110 seconds long. The person behind me had to honk like twice to get me moving. Just hoping I didn't kill anyone. I came home and flopped myself onto the bed. I was off in a bloody second.  I had written Day Twelve & Thirteen on their respective days but never got around to posting them because they weren't properly written in an order so I didn't post them. I tho...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Thirteen! It's just twelve days to Christmas. On day twelve, it was thirteen days to Christmas. I'm simply rambling. Don't bother me. Still working, though my sheets are done, and I'm onto the model now. You have absolutely no idea how relieved I am that i've finished my sheets, and had them printed this evening. It's literally, like a load off my chest. And tomorrow, after 5pm in the evening, I'll taste freedom. You see, Urban Design is a work done in groups, unlike general architecture studios. And, initially I had no problem with it because I thought that more people means more brains, more ideas, more effort. But, well. You all know what I said about mediocrity a few days ago. Fortunately, I was comfortable with my UD partner, and I'm happy with what we've designed. So I'm hopeful for tomorrow. Nervous and scared, but hopeful.  The juries and exams post design are very minutely trivial, to be ho...

Hello, everybody! And it's BlogMas Day Twelve! It's a Saturday, and I've been in my little side of the bed, absolutely transfixed in front of my laptop, scowling at Photoshop because it just won't import my sheet. It's also a Saturday which feels like Friday as I've been here and not moved unless I really had to take a wee since three in the morning of Thursday, working away. But this sounds like the story of every semester, every six months.  It's actually nuts on my bed - has been for three days. There's a mountain of sheets over me, around me. The only things I can spot clearly is my redder than red blanket, and my laptop, which is of course staring me in the face. It's definitely probably cursing me right now. I'm going to get back to work because really, I don't want to fail design or put up hasty, untidy, uninteresting or unappealing sheets. NOPE! I apologise, in advance, if my posts seem too random until Monday or Tuesday. ...