Sunday, 30 December 2012

Here Without You.

Thirteen hours to go. I have no clue what the next year is going to bring by. One can only hope to have things one's been missing, or craving. Where one might not defer from constantly hoping from having their dreams fulfilled, while deep down we all know that it's never going to happen. So I'm just going to wait, wish and hope. So, when you lose everything, the how and the why do not make sense. They don't matter. 
And I'm now tired of being unreasonable and unstable.

Year End Blues

Amarillo todas las!
Yes, the year's about to end. Yet again. Nothing new. There are always things you wish you'd done or hadn't. Things you regret doing, things you cherish. This year's been more of a regretting list, but by the time half the year passed, I reckoned that maybe, just MAYBE I've been looking in all the wrong places for affection and care. A few amends? Of course! What would it hurt, right?

  • NEVER. Never ever spill your heart out to people who don't trust you. Sounds silly, eh? Not in the least. Tell them whatever you want, they'll never believe you. It's better to talk to people you don't trust. You'll eventually end up doing just the contrary in time.
  • STOP INGESTING SO MUCH OF CAFFEINE.  OKAY! That's not possible for me. So let's move ahead, companèro? 
  • Write more. Read more. Click more. Sleep more. Talk more. Eat more. (Bah! Who am I kidding? I'll explode if I eat anymore. :/)
  • Throw some people out my life. While just forget some to whom I've stuck by for years unconditionally. Not anymore, not when they can't even offer the least form of acknowledgement. 
  • Pick my guitar out of the store again. (Blah! I know it's not going to happen.)
  • Share my secrets with friends. Okay. Whatever. I'll just try, okay?
  • Pick sun board over thermocol. :/ Lesson learnt.
  • Trust my friends more frequently. Not that I don't. Just some confiding stuff. You people apparently know more stuff than my friends. Yeah, yeah, you're all lovely! :*
  • Not miss any of my friends' birthdays for work anymore. I can guess how much that might hurt. [Read: Sanah. I'll make it up to you next year.]
  • Stop feeling scandalised if I see girls drooling over their manicured nails. I mean, isn't what they're supposed to do? Yeah, whatever. I'l just try not making a troll face. That's the least I can promise. 
  • Spend more time on my terrace than my bedroom.
  • Try liking shopping. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. *my mom fainted there*
  • Try buying shoes. Shoes as in not shoes shoes, but yeah, the female stuff. Heels, man, heels. Irritating things. (You wear a dress once, with yeah, the supposed shoes and your friends say you look like a girl for once. I mean seriously? Do you see my in jerseys and bermudas in college or what? Read: Niikunj. You'll pay, dude. :/)
  • Stop behaving like a nerd presuming others belong to the same race as me. I mean, whatever happened to giving people space, right? Right!
  • Thank a few people for being there, for being who they are. 
  1. Monika, Jagisha, Ani(S). I don't need to say anything.
  2. Apeksha, Sanya, Sanah. For recreating friendship. You really make me smile, you guys. (Sanah, thank you for bringing the sunshine back in my life.)
  3. Mom, Dad. Yeah, okay I know even though you think it's lame, you do read my blog. I love you. Thank you. I'm standing today because of you both.
  4. Aabhaas, Anirudh, Bhai. Yeah, you're funny, bro. *clint eastwood look*
  5. Suvay, Tambi. I don't need to say anything again. :*
  6. Shiraz. Thanks. Really.

There are a whole lot of people I need to thank too. They've brought colours back into my otherwise monochrome life. But then I should save some, I reckon. 
And yeah, that's pretty much me in an attempt to apply make-up, and Monika's attempt to click me. Gosh, that idiot is obsessed with my camera. =P Just by the way, I did not succeed in using that thing. FML. :/

It was Apeksha's birthday his past week. That's a night full of shit. Good shit, that is.

Birthday girl.


L to R : Sanya, Apeksha, Me, Sanah. Yes, the colours in my life

Ain't we awesome?

I'm the cool dude, man.

My peeps.

My little Miss Sunshine.

Okay. this one was the sober one. The one before was......Okay, enough!

The day was anyhow pathetic today. Left late for a friend's birthday. Had a teeny-weeny car accident. Actually more like thoko-fy sequence. With whom? A baniya and a sindhi. FML! No, wasn't my fault. Was trying to save his car, and in turn broke my own radiator. Plus he tells me that he hit the car ahead of him because my car hit him. Seriously? Can you imagine an i10 moving a SKODA at a speed of 20? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! Anyhow, taken care of, and in everybody's face. My parents and Godparents were actually laughing, when I thought I would be given a serious sounding of how to be MORE safe while driving. Bite me! 

Anyhooo, time to leave. New year tomorrow. I really wish 2013 turns out to be better. I already like the ring of it in my years. 
See you around, companèros.
Time for me to sleep, sleep, eat, click, eat, repeat. (Yeah, I know. Boring life for somebody like me.)

With three shades streaked hair(FUCK YES!), 

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

The Chronicles Of April Levesque...VI

You can read the previous parts here. Just scroll down for parts I-V.

"Tch tch. That's not how you talk, querida."
"Stop calling me that. I'm not your anything!", her patience on edge, she yelled at him.
"Really? But this paper says otherwise." he projected to her his same predatory smile. One she was scared of.

"What is that?", she demanded

"Why, it's our marriage certificate, cero."


"No! Why have you brought me here? You can't do this to me. No. No, dammit! I won't be your toy!"
He smiled, and held her angry chin up, "Yes, you will.", and he kissed her. 

April, before she could refrain from what was to take place, his mouth was already crashing down on hers. And all hell broke loose. The walls she'd surrounded herself with all her life, broke down. Her senses, her brains, her thinking power - dammit, her bloody basic power all stood numb in front of his kiss. His soul-crashing kiss. 

When he pulled away, she couldn't remember exactly when did her hands snake around his neck and she was kissing him back. She stared back at him in bafflement.

He couldn't believe that any woman could have eyes as beautiful as she did. Their almond shape and the ocean tint was something he fell in love with. Love?, he thought. Duardo didn't do love. Her eyes were just too beautiful to be commonly sighted in every other woman. He was still within an inch of her, and her hands still wrapped around him. He could figure out the citrusy essence of her. 

"You taste nice, cero."
Uncomforted by his remark, she maintained her prior composure. She thought that perhaps if she tried talking to him, she'd know why he's brought her here.

"Listen, I'm sorry about the kiss. And let's just - "
"Sorry? You don't need to be. I enjoyed every moment of it." And he also enjoyed the way her cheeks flushed with colours with every mention of what he'd just said. He'd never witnessed a woman shy away before, which he thought was cute.

"I like it when you blush. It's cute, cero."
Cute? She didn't feel cute. 

"Listen, please. I don't understand why you've brought me here. If there's anything, we can always negotiate.", it took all her strength to stay put.

"Yes, we can, cero. But then it would be in vain, because I would end up winning it. As to your confusion, I've brought you here to marry me."

Even though so obvious, the ring of what he said played havoc with her senses. 
"But why?! And please don't provide me with a stupid love reason."
He laughed at her mere innocence. But he knew better. Better to know that women like her are never naïve. Women who use men for their own good. 

"I don't wish to marry you because of love. See, everything is very simple. My father won't be handing down his empire to me because of my playboy behaviour, and any normal girl, without any ulterior motive other than to spend my money, wouldn't be stupid enough to marry me. You would be easy."
"Easy?", she questioned, with a puzzling look.
"Yes, cero. Easy. I know who you are. You're a spy. Oh, please don't act so shocked. I'm rich enough to have the right resources at the right places. So until and unless, you need your cover blown, you'll do exactly as I tell you.", he said.

"I can always kill you, and run. Don't doubt my ability to do so. I've killed people for much less before."
He grinned, the woman has a nerve.
"I'm not doubting you. But just know that if you do kill me and run, my PI has all the information about you, and the police will then know where to go.", he confessed, holding her arrogant chin up.

April kept staring at him with an open mouth. This had never happened before to her before in life. She was at a loss of options. She couldn't process. She was perspiring. Get hold of yourself, she thought, think think think.

"Listen, I can provide you with whatsoever favours you want. But not this. Not a marriage. I'm a bloody spy! Now, next you'd want me to play all wifey with you!", she was at a loss of breath.

"Too late, cero. I've already made a decision. And believe me, I would hate to blow your cover up, and hand you over to Chenkov's men. I can't allow myself to stay calm on thinking about the things they'd do to you." The revelation startled her. 

"And I know exactly what you were doing in Chenkov's room to get that chip. I know the kind of woman you are."
He touched a nerve there. She wanted to thrash his perfectly formed ass into the steaming engine of his pretty Bentley. 

"What the hell do you mean 'that kind of woman'? I'm a spy and I do what I do to serve my country.", and she rushed out of the car to get her heated head some air.
"Oh,  I know exactly what you do to serve your country. Couldn't you think of a better job to do?"

She tried slapping him, but it seemed he anticipated her move much earlier than she did, and crushed her petite form to himself. 
"I like how your lips are naturally tinted."
Colours gushed to her cheeks.
"Oh, please, cero. Stop with the shying now. We both know you're not a virgin."
"What? I..a.."
"Sshh. Let's go get married, cero. And enough with the negotiations. You don't have another way, and I don't want to hand you over to Chenkov's men. I'd rather keep you to myself. So walk, or be carried."

She stood their numb. Helpless. She looked at her with widened eyes. Her training had taught her everything. It had shaped her into who she was today. But her damn training didn't teach what to do when the world's most beautiful Spaniard is marrying you for his own benefit, at the expense of your identity. 

She silently walked into the church, and within minutes came out newly wedded Mrs. Alvarez. She was silent through all the way back to the hotel.
And Duardo broke the silence, "You know, cero. A silent woman is more dangerous than a quiet woman. And you, are very silent at the moment. Smile, we're married."
She ignored his request for a conversation and continued staring out the window. Duardo smiled into nothingness. This would be a lot more fun than he thought. 

On reaching his suite, he led her inside. He moved past her to attend to an envelope that waited for him. As soon as he brushed past her, with one swift movement, April hit him on his nape. And Duardo lay their like a beautiful corpse, unconscious. April, then, ran.


"Marriage certificate? There is no  marriage. I signed and sent you annulment papers. Did you never get them?!" 
"I did, cero. But then it was up to me to annul or marriage or not. So, I didn't."
April glared him in amazement. This man had always brought her trouble.

"Why are you doing this? You got what you wanted a couple of years back. In what universe would you leave me alone?"
"It breaks my heart when you shun me out of your life like I'm not a part of it. I'm still your husband, April."
April. It was the first time he took her name. And she couldn't believe how sexy it sounded in his Spanish accent. 

"April, we're still married, if that's what you need me to spell it out to you. And right now, we're to leave for my home. For the weekend, my father has organised a celebration in honour of my sister's marriage. It's about time you met my family."

She felt as if she would faint, "What?"

"It's been too long since you've been away from me, cero. Time has come to make the world meet my wife."

To be continued...

See you around, companèros.
With free time, and lots of plans,

Thursday, 20 December 2012

End Already Now!

Okay, then! Last exam tomorrow. And parties to follow. A LOT of parties. Clearly that'll happen if the world doesn't end tomorrow. Or maybe more, I want it to end. Maybe rectify few mistakes, have a fresh start. As exasperating things always have been, and as disappointing the false idea of the world ending is, I reckon I might as well begin from zero.

  •  No more letting your past in. It's the past - better if it stays there.
  • Not allow people to tell me how worse a prospect I'm to be having in their life, and the endings were my mistakes.
  • Click. Click, click, click to my heart's content.
  • No more resisting junk. Eating. A lot of junk eating. 
  • Go meet Aabhaas, kick his ass, and spend time with him anyway. [You better stay at home, you nutcase.]
  • Oh! Not staying at home for even a single day. Meet people I've long forgotten.
  • TRY learning how to use make-up. Yeah, happens when your girlfriends are all over the place screaming the same. I don't even understand since when did I have so many girls in my life. *shivers*
  • Try leaving, or at least reducing sm....NO! Not happening!
  • Get back to hanging out with my chaddi-buddies. Oh, yes!
  • Post the fictions which are lying in the drafts.
Well, probably that'll be it, because I just have a week off. Time to eat, study, sleep, repeat.

See you around, companèros.
With hatred for history in heart,

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Hey You! Yes, You! You Brought The Twinkle Back In My Eyes!

Love was the time I realised skipping of heartbeats.
Love was the coffee you brought me in the first place.

Love was hearing your unheard cries.
Love was when you were a temptation I didn't want to resist.
Love was the randomness of you and I.
Love was when you told me that I didn't need make-up, 'cause I knew how to flirt. 
Love was when I was irrational and you tolerated me for the same. 
Love was when I admitted to you being the mistake I wanted to commit. 
Love was when I knew, ten years down the line, I'll wake up each morning thinking how beautiful m college looked just by the mere sight of you.
Love was when you held me, just for a moment. And the moment I'm going to hold close to my heart all my life, just like you did.
Love was when I survived seeing you everyday in between hectic schedules and cynicism.
Love was when I was only yours for the taking. 
Love was when my breath used to catch in my throat each morning that I saw you. 
Love was when I used to have a look at your sleepy face each morning, and still thought you were the most beautiful man alive.
Love was when my pupils dilated each time I looked at you.
Love was when I tried figuring your resemblance to either of your parents.
Love was when I saw you work, and realised your mettle in it.
Love was when I kept wondering how talented you were.
Love was when my heart leapt even by someone's mere mention of your name. 
Love was when my mother liked you.
Love was when I used to hear your voice at the end of the corridor and rush back to class so that you don't change your path on seeing me. 
Love was when I listened to your deep voice, and felt for it to be the sweetest music to my ears.
Love was when I loved the shirts you love equally.
Love was when I saw the pure heart of yours.
Love was when we looked at each other pretty much at the same time.
Love was me loving your land, religion, and even your bloody food.
Love was when I decided to wait for you, no matter what.
Love was when I knew you're the best I could get.
Love was when you protected me even when I meant nothing to you.
Love was when I knew that loving you was as simple and as complex as that.
Love was when you smiled, and my world rocked on its axis.
Love was standing on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around your neck.
Love was when I knew love.
Love was when every word I wrote to forget you, you came a step closer to me.

See you around, companèros.
With an empty heart, and an even emptier brain,

Wednesday, 12 December 2012


Design jury was good. Building construction and architectural drawing papers were goodish-okay (yeah, whatever!), and tomorrow I've Visual Arts Jury. *pukes*

NO. I don't want to present those stupid impressionist and cubist paintings! HATED them.
Plus to screw us all, we've Human Settlements exam on Friday. History paper, WITHOUT A FUCKING DAY'S LEAVE. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE, EINSTEIN? *breathes*

Whatever. Another couple of sleepless nights ahead. Will be back soon.

Irritated, and over-slept
Tener cuidado. :*

Friday, 7 December 2012

"Oye! Ho gaya kya?" "Yeah. Phew!"

I pulled all nighters for two weeks. All for a damn design jury, which according to my sweetly dumb teacher, had to be PERRRRRRRRFECT(Yes, that's how she pronounces it), who's not even teaching us anymore for the second semester. May God rest her apparent intelligence in peace. *dances when the teacher turns around*

Whatever! The design jury went fineeeeee. Like really awesome. Although my model was a TAD bit incomplete, and I even fell on it and successfully broke it, I still got amazing amount of marks and an equally amazing response. External's words? "Interesting. Very interesting. I love your design"

Building constructions, and architectural drawing are next. No no. NO. No more sleepless nights. Just some smart working. And yes, I FINALLY slept last night. For fifteen fucking hours, bitches! Yes, so much that my head hurts now. It's almost like it's telling me not to sleep so much. Rather I shouldn't be. Anyhoo, time to enjoy some slurrrrrrpy food!
I'll be back!

See you around, companèros. 
With complete sleep, and to-be full tummy,

Monday, 3 December 2012

"WAKE UP, YOU MORON!" Okay Then.

Design is screwing me through and through. With no clue whatsoever is going around in the world, keeping my head on my table, with metal on full throttle, I try completing my work. With your seniors and your mentor telling you that you don't EVER design a space in the first semester itself, I can tell you, companèros, it's pretty encouraging! With your jury on head, dangling like an ass-kicking-sharp sword, your professor asks you to change your design. What one approves, the other rejects. It's almost like an Armageddon between your own teachers. And to make things more exciting, you fall sick, and end up sleeping every night (NO! make that dawn!) over your own sheets with no FREAKING significant memory of it. So much for having anti-allergies to cure you quick enough!

Anyhow, at least my other plan gets approved. YAY? Woopie much? You wish. It's time for me to drive, eat, work, yawn, listen to metal, work, yawn, eat, work, repeat!

With drooping eyes, and aching back, and a faltering smile,
Tener cuidado. :*