Thursday, 5 September 2013

Stoner...11

I keep thinking constantly how sickening it is to be hanging in the middle of loving and forgetting someone. And by sickening, I don't mean morbid, but more like an illness. It starts affecting you bit by bit like cold, sores your throat, numbs your ears, and then gradually as the virus spreads, you take to bed. The situation is somewhat similar. You never know how, and when it'll get its hands on you eventually, and suck you dry. And all you're left with are unanswerable questions. I don't assume they're as unanswerable, as much questionable they can be. 

WHen you suck a person dry, you'll never realise how much of them you've taken away from the person. Because not everyone is courageous enough to trust, and not everyone is brave enough to move over the pain. If you couldn't fuel their beliefs, do not give them further reason to not trust again. Do not make them as cold as you. Give them answers. Even if they're angelic enough to not question anything, reason out. Give them solid facts to believe. Give them the truth. You always owe a person who became a part of your life at least this much. Do not give them reasons to reckon that it's their fault, even if it isn't. You never know how much a person has to part with to keep you in their life. 

We all always have stories nobody knows. Stories that hurt us, humiliate our feelings, break us apart. Stories that are the sole witness of our destruction. Everyone has a such story. Do not be a part of that story. We assume that our truths might hurt the person. True, they do. But it's the ultimate thing to help them out of you. If you really want to, that is. And if you don't wish to, tell them. If you're unsure, if you think you might go back, you tell them to fucking wait because you want to be there, just not yet. 

And, no. You'll never be a part of that story for me. That story was long shut. You're just an incomplete secret story. My secret, my story. And that, I'm not going to let you take away from me. Because you'll always be my number one. 

Turmoiled,
Ak.

4 comments:

  1. if you don't place yourself at number one, who will?

    regarding the post, its strange how you can make a rant sound so so fictitious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Somebody.
    I'll take that as a compliment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. it was meant as one. and akanksha, would you rather wait for someone forever than be your own vanguard?

    ReplyDelete

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