BlogMas 2018 Day One - Ponderings

Hello. It's Day One. So this year I've decided to talk to people I know who've influenced my life, or the changes in them and take something from them to write about. It could be something I share with them, or something that has affected them or impelled them to undergo a reform. I start this one with Vami, for whom looking within has begun to mean a lot more.

In a city where everyone pencils in their day around local train timings, everyone is living in a playlist they created for themselves. Only, most of us forgot to uncheck the repeat button. We wake up everyday, with either alacrity or bitterness, and rerun through the loop. We, though, don't wake up to ourselves. 

Struggles come in a lot of different forms for everybody. And this is something that keeps most of us up in the middle of the night. Work, money, love, drugs - name it. And there are some of us attempting to run away from ourselves to avert any confabulation about the same. But I figure absconding just makes us haunt ourselves all the more. After all, oneself is all one has. It's almost like prodding an old wound every morning, making sure we still bleed blood. Neither ever letting it heal, nor letting it bleed us to death either. In a world where we're constantly shutting people out, only we ever know our most vulnerable selves. And we're shying away from doing that as well. I, once, met someone who described himself in less than thirty seconds. Surely, every person is a Pandora's box in themselves and all of us run at least a couple of layers more abstracted than that. But, thirty seconds. How in tune would you have to be with yourself to put yourself out there wholly or partially in just thirty seconds? How long has it been since you spoke to yourself? Since you asked yourself anything, really? As one of the most evolved species on this planet, we sure fear something unfamiliar yet so rooted stirring up something deep inside of us. And peeping inwards a tad bit to be privy of yourself is not the end point, it's the blueprint to our survival. At least, a happy one, if you will.

All of us are handed some yarn. And instead of wining it into something worthwhile, we're coiling it back up, thinking the prior is somebody else's job. Uncheck that repeat button. Hit rewind if you like. Because in hindsight, all our brawls and tussles are our most beautiful musings. 

And for anyone out there who wants to talk, openly or anonymously, this blog is always open.

Until then.

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Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

A.