The Silence of My Voice

Thirteen hours to go. I have no clue what the next year is going to bring by. One can only hope to have things one's been missing, or craving. Where one might not defer from constantly hoping from having their dreams fulfilled, while deep down we all know that it's never going to happen. So I'm just going to wait, wish and hope. So, when you lose everything, the how and the why do not make sense. They don't matter.  And I'm now tired of being unreasonable and unstable.

Amarillo todas las! Yes, the year's about to end. Yet again. Nothing new. There are always things you wish you'd done or hadn't. Things you regret doing, things you cherish. This year's been more of a regretting list, but by the time half the year passed, I reckoned that maybe, just MAYBE I've been looking in all the wrong places for affection and care. A few amends? Of course! What would it hurt, right? NEVER. Never ever spill your heart out to people who don't trust you. Sounds silly, eh? Not in the least. Tell them whatever you want, they'll never believe you. It's better to talk to people you don't trust. You'll eventually end up doing just the contrary in time. STOP INGESTING SO MUCH OF CAFFEINE.  OKAY! That's not possible for me. So let's move ahead, companèro?  Write more. Read more. Click more. Sleep more. Talk more. Eat more. (Bah! Who am I kidding? I'll explode if I eat anymore. :/) Throw some people out my life. Whi...

You can read the previous parts  here . Just scroll down for parts I-V. "Tch tch. That's not how you talk, querida ." "Stop calling me that. I'm not your anything!", her patience on edge, she yelled at him. "Really? But this paper says otherwise." he projected to her his same predatory smile. One she was scared of. "What is that?", she demanded "Why, it's our marriage certificate, cero ." * "No! Why have you brought me here? You can't do this to me. No. No, dammit! I won't be your toy!" He smiled, and held her angry chin up, "Yes, you will.", and he kissed her.  April, before she could refrain from what was to take place, his mouth was already crashing down on hers. And all hell broke loose. The walls she'd surrounded herself with all her life, broke down. Her senses, her brains, her thinking power - dammit, her bloody basic power all stood numb in front of his kiss. His...

Okay, then! Last exam tomorrow. And parties to follow. A LOT of parties. Clearly that'll happen if the world doesn't end tomorrow. Or maybe more, I want it to end. Maybe rectify few mistakes, have a fresh start. As exasperating things always have been, and as disappointing the false idea of the world ending is, I reckon I might as well begin from zero.  No more letting your past in. It's the past - better if it stays there. Not allow people to tell me how worse a prospect I'm to be having in their life, and the endings were my mistakes. Click. Click, click, click to my heart's content. No more resisting junk. Eating. A lot of junk eating.  Go meet Aabhaas, kick his ass, and spend time with him anyway. [You better stay at home, you nutcase.] Oh! Not staying at home for even a single day. Meet people I've long forgotten. TRY learning how to use make-up. Yeah, happens when your girlfriends are all over the place screaming the same. I don't even und...

Love was the time I realised skipping of heartbeats. Love was the coffee you brought me in the first place. Love was hearing your unheard cries. Love was when you were a temptation I didn't want to resist. Love was the randomness of you and I. Love was when you told me that I didn't need make-up, 'cause I knew how to flirt.  Love was when I was irrational and you tolerated me for the same.  Love was when I admitted to you being the mistake I wanted to commit.  Love was when I knew, ten years down the line, I'll wake up each morning thinking how beautiful m college looked just by the mere sight of you. Love was when you held me, just for a moment. And the moment I'm going to hold close to my heart all my life, just like you did. Love was when I survived seeing you everyday in between hectic schedules and cynicism. Love was when I was only yours for the taking.  Love was when my breath used to catch in my throat each morning that I saw you.  Love was ...

Okay! Design jury was good. Building construction and architectural drawing papers were goodish-okay (yeah, whatever!), and tomorrow I've Visual Arts Jury. *pukes* NO. I don't want to present those stupid impressionist and cubist paintings! HATED them. Plus to screw us all, we've Human Settlements exam on Friday. History paper, WITHOUT A FUCKING DAY'S LEAVE. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE, EINSTEIN? *breathes* Whatever. Another couple of sleepless nights ahead. Will be back soon. Irritated, and over-slept Ak. Tener cuidado. :*

Wokaaayyyyyy!  I pulled all nighters for two weeks. All for a damn design jury, which according to my sweetly dumb teacher, had to be PERRRRRRRRFECT(Yes, that's how she pronounces it), who's not even teaching us anymore for the second semester. May God rest her apparent intelligence in peace. *dances when the teacher turns around* Whatever! The design jury went fineeeeee. Like really awesome. Although my model was a TAD bit incomplete, and I even fell on it and successfully broke it, I still got amazing amount of marks and an equally amazing response. External's words? "Interesting. Very interesting. I love your design" 1. 2. 3. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Building constructions, and architectural drawing are next. No no. NO. No more sleepless nights. Just some smart working. And yes, I FINALLY slept last night. For fifteen fucking hours, bitches! Yes, so much that my head hurts now. It's almost like it's telling me not to ...

Design is screwing me through and through. With no clue whatsoever is going around in the world, keeping my head on my table, with metal on full throttle, I try completing my work. With your seniors and your mentor telling you that you don't EVER design a space in the first semester itself, I can tell you, companèros, it's pretty encouraging! With your jury on head, dangling like an ass-kicking-sharp sword, your professor asks you to change your design. What one approves, the other rejects. It's almost like an Armageddon between your own teachers. And to make things more exciting, you fall sick, and end up sleeping every night (NO! make that dawn!) over your own sheets with no FREAKING significant memory of it. So much for having anti-allergies to cure you quick enough! Anyhow, at least my other plan gets approved. YAY? Woopie much? You wish. It's time for me to drive, eat, work, yawn, listen to metal, work, yawn, eat, work, repeat! With drooping eyes, and aching ba...